Visiting someone in jail · I'll visit you in jail (2024)

Visiting someone in jail · I'll visit you in jail (1)

Visiting someone in jail · I'll visit you in jail (2)

If you want to visit your parents in prison

...here’s some important information for you:
(by the way: the authorities in Germany call prison the ‘JVA’, which stands for ‘Justizvollzugsanstalt’)

If you want to visit your Mum or Dad in prison on your own, you need to be at least 14 years old. In some federal states, the age limit’s even 16. If you’re younger, you’ll need an adult to go with you.

Since the rules are different in each federal state and sometimes from one prison to the next, there are a few things you need to do before visiting:

  • Check the visiting times (often daily from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.) and any other rules there might be, e. g., by checking the website of the prison where your Mum or Dad is. Alternatively, you can just call the prison.
  • Request authorization from the prison.
  • Make an appointment.
  • Make sure every visitor carries valid identification.

Here’s a list with the addresses of all prisons in Germany.

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What can you take with you when you visit?

Not very much, unfortunately. The best thing you can do is check the prison’s website to see what you’re allowed to take with you. It varies from one prison to the next. Some let you take photos and pictures, some don’t.

Some things you definitely CAN’T take with you are your mobile phone and MP3 player (which you’ll have to place in a locker when you get there), food and drinks from outside the prison, or presents and animals.

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When you go to your appointment

You’ll need to have strong nerves. You’ll have to wait your turn. Then you’ll have to go through a security check. You’ll have to put bags, and sometimes even your coat, in a box or a locker. You can’t take in any metal objects or things that could be used to hide stuff in.

You have to go through a security check before entering the visitor area, a bit like at the airport. In some prisons, an officer might scan or even frisk you (girls can only be checked by another female). These are totally normal checks in prison even if they can make visitors feel uncomfortable.

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  • Visiting someone in jail · I'll visit you in jail (11)
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…finally in the visiting room

There are almost always other visitors in the visiting room. The visiting room is monitored by one or more judicial officers. Often there are also cameras. You will therefore not be alone with your father or mother. This means that it is a completely different atmosphere than if you were alone with them or at home.

Unfortunately, a prison visit does not last long, often only an hour. Your mother or father may have a visit only once a month. However, more frequent visits are often possible, for example once a week. If your mother or father is visited by more than one person, the total visit time is divided between them. Therefore, the individual visits may be shorter than one hour. Again, this varies by state and prison. Ask to find out.

You may not be feeling down after the visit and want to talk to someone who can understand your situation.

We have compiled a few addresses that you can contact.

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Keeping in touch with your parent

Unfortunately, it’s not always so easy because you’re not allowed to use the Internet or mobile phones at all in prison. So, you can’t send an email or text message like you would to your friends. It’s just the way things are because prison staff need to be able to monitor everybody the inmates have contact with.

Making a phone call…

It’s possible at a lot of prisons. But only from the inside to the outside! So, you can’t call your Mum or Dad in prison. They’ll need to call you. Most prisons have telephones that you need a phone card for, which inmates can use to make calls. Unfortunately, they’re really expensive to use. It’s worth agreeing a certain time for you to talk so they can be sure to get a hold of you. Also, you should know that the prison staff are allowed to listen in on your conversations. There’s likely to be a short message at the start of the call telling you about it.

Writing letters…

There’s no limit to it. That means you can write as much as and often as you like. And the same applies to your parent who’s in prison! It’s just not quite as quick and easy as writing an email. But at least you can write a lot more in a letter than you can in a text message.

Send packages...

Sadly, it’s not always possible, even for birthdays or Christmas. Again, the rules differ by federal state. Ask the prison whether and for what occasions you’re allowed to send parcels and what you can put in them. If inmates are allowed to receive parcels, they’ll be opened and checked for banned items.

Here’s the list with the addresses for all German prisons (‘JVA’) again.

Visiting someone in jail · I'll visit you in jail (2024)

FAQs

What do you say when a loved one goes to jail? ›

Be direct, and try to answer any questions they may have. Also, give them a script for what to say to people outside of the family. For instance, they could say "He's away," or "She's in jail," depending on what you decide.

Can I kiss my boyfriend in prisoner on a visit? ›

Because many people are usually visiting, it is important visits are quiet, orderly, and dignified. The visiting room officer can require you to leave if either you or the inmate is not acting appropriately. In most cases, handshakes, hugs, and kisses (in good taste) are allowed at the beginning and end of a visit.

What do you say to an inmate? ›

I wish you all the best in settling in, and I wish you a good life, after all the hardship you have endured." "Time will pass and the future is not decided. Endure, succeed. I hope that you are coping okay and can stay positive."

Should I visit a friend in jail? ›

The California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation (CDCR) recognizes the importance of visitation and encourages families and friends to visit as often as their circ*mstances allow. Nevertheless, visiting at a prison can be complicated and confusing, especially when visiting for the first time.

What is a good quote for someone in jail? ›

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” “Look for something positive in each day, even if you have to look a little harder some days.” “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”

How to encourage a loved one in jail? ›

However, you can provide a sense of comfort to your incarcerated friend or family member by letting them know you care about them and are there for them. For example, you can offer a listening ear, share words of encouragement and help them stay connected to their family and friends on the outside.

Can you hug during jail visits? ›

Incarcerated persons may share a brief hug at the end of visit. All visitors must show (or collect) their identification and pick up their pass as they leave the visiting room.

Can you send intimate pictures to inmates? ›

Rules for Sending Pictures to Inmates

A universal rule is that images cannot contain anything harmful to the security of the prison. Another common rule is images cannot show illegal activity. Avoid sending anything inappropriate or incriminating.

Can prisoners give sperm to spouse? ›

California inmates have no constitutional right to impregnate their wives by mailing sperm from prison, a sharply divided federal appeals court in San Francisco ruled Thursday.

How do I make an inmate feel special? ›

Ideas for Fun Things to Send to an Inmate
  1. Pictures and Letters: Sharing memories with your loved one is a great way to stay connected. ...
  2. Music: Sending an incarcerated individual music can help them stay connected to the outside world and bring comfort during their time away from home.
Jan 30, 2023

What to talk about on a jail visit? ›

I recommend that the one doing time allow the visitor to be the one who talks about his or her life first. The prison world is a small one; by listening to your loved one's experiences first, it'll help to pull you out of it a little bit.

How to show someone in jail you love them? ›

Show your support and love by sending heartfelt letters to someone in jail. Discover meaningful ideas to stay connected and offer encouragement during their time of incarceration.

Can prisoners sleep with visitors? ›

State prisons

For prisoners in state custody, the availability of conjugal visits is governed by the law of the particular state. The four states that currently allow conjugal visits are California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington.

Is it scary visiting someone in jail? ›

The environment and processes required to visit a family member in prison or jail, like the required searches, often feel intimidating. However, there are ways to make these visits more comfortable and family friendly. Starting with the search process, simple changes can make a big difference.

Can a girlfriend visit boyfriend in jail? ›

All incarcerated people are eligible to receive visits unless they have temporarily lost that privilege due to disciplinary action. See below for information on in-person and family visiting.

How to deal with a family member going to jail? ›

Here's a great list from Wiki on How To Deal With a Loved One Going to Jail:
  1. Stay in the moment. ...
  2. Make a plan and a budget. ...
  3. Take care of yourself. ...
  4. Decide how often you can visit. ...
  5. Make a plan about how you want to tell people. ...
  6. Think about what you want to tell your children. ...
  7. Find out the rules of visiting ahead of time .
Mar 25, 2019

What to do when your friend goes to jail? ›

Steps After Family or Friend is Arrested
  1. Offer Support and a Source of Comfort. The arrest of a family member or friend can be shocking. ...
  2. Gather Information. ...
  3. Make it Clear They've Invoked Their Right to Counsel. ...
  4. Hire an Experienced Criminal Defense Attorney Near You. ...
  5. Attend the Arraignment. ...
  6. Post Bond (if necessary)

How to deal with a parent going to jail? ›

These coping strategies can guide you and your child to process scary and confusing feelings in healthy, productive ways.
  1. Don't do their time. ...
  2. Find ways to ease stress. ...
  3. Get mental health assistance. ...
  4. Find community support. ...
  5. Let them know they're not alone. ...
  6. Read books together about prison. ...
  7. Identify the child's strengths.
Apr 4, 2023

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